An 1896-style field guide to gentlemen, exemplary and otherwise.

~ Exclusive Founders' Edition with Select Bonus Pages ~

Meow, Meow, Betsy!

A Mischievous Thought Experiment Decades in the Making

The idea for The Male Order Catalog first came to me when I was eighteen—around the time a complete stranger, exiting the trolley upon which I traveled, slapped me upon the posterior and declared, “Meow, meow, Betsy!”

Was I shocked? Certainly. But more than that, I was intrigued.

What would compel a man to announce himself in such a manner? I could not say. He was no gentleman—but he was, without question, a most suitable specimen for The Male Order Catalog.

I was, it seems, already gathering evidence.

The idea began as pure wit—a mischievous thought experiment: what if women could “shop” from a catalog of men, each clearly profiled with his habits, charms, expectations, and eccentricities?

Inside the Catalog

Within these pages, you shall find over 160 gentlemanly profiles—ranging from those you would be best to avoid, to those you may not yet have allowed yourself to imagine exist. We begin with a varied selection of specimens who leave a woman in shambles, and culminate in a rare compendium of gentlemen who meet life, and love, with full presence and unwavering honesty.

Subject No. 100

Meet The Crumb Courier. Or perhaps you've already had the pleasure. He presents well at first—pleasing and rather dashing—with all the promise of an excellent would-be suitor. Problem is, he delivers only in fragments; he lacks the fortitude to complete the whole story.

Status: Insufficient Sustenance.

Subject No. 66

How about The Appraiser? A gentleman who will have you perpetually leaping through hoops for his approval, for you shall never cease to be under his relentless scrutiny. Should you favor being repeatedly compared to his mother—or worse, your own—he is precisely your fellow.

Status: High Overhead. Low Yield.

Alongside myriad gentlemanly—and some not-so-gentlemanly—characterizations, you shall also find an array of relevant articles, exposés, social observance pages, letters to the editor, and period advertisements in service to your wise discernment.

Articles, Exposés, Social Pages, Period Advertisements...

Awareness Rather Than Blame; Discernment Rather Than Victimhood

By revisiting how women have been held, courted, constrained, and cherished throughout history, The Male Order Catalog offers awareness rather than blame, discernment rather than victimhood—always lined with wit.

This is not nostalgia.

It is perspective.

It invites you to look at where you came from, so that you may stand more clearly in where you are now.

A Companion for Every Season of Becoming

Whether you are currently "in the market" or have long since secured your gentleman, these pages offer a mirror to the soul. For the woman already in partnership, the Catalog serves as a guide to holding your match in his highest ideal—identifying the "crumbs" so you may both return to the feast.

It is a volume for the historian, the wit, and the woman who knows that understanding where we have been is the only way to truly master where we are.

For those of wise discernment, your well-attuned gentleman awaits!

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